[going home again]

[writer's note: this entry is hail to the original where is your home? entry that can be found in the archives. if this seems similar it's because it is; however it is not identical.]

where is home? is your house, your abode, your collected goods your home? or is something greater than a physical proximity or an address or an x on a map? is home simply a place in your heart? a place of safety from the elements or a refuge from teh violence of life? can it possibly be that those who are uneasy or ill at ease have only lost their way home? can it be that home isn't just where your heart is or where it longs to be; that home might be at the intersection of hopes and dreams-- where joy and peace give way to unfolding destiny? that the homeless are only just lost sojourners who have simply not know what home really is? can it be that the homeless aren't just those who live on the streets, under parked cars, inside of cardboard boxes, under bridges, behind tattered tarps and in shredded tents, but they're the ones without hopes and dreams, without vision and lack a sense of destiny? can it be? can it be that the homeless aren't just the shelterless?

what would it look like to take on this responsibility? to give hope to the hopeless? to give sight to the visionless? to give shelter to the shelterless? to be a father (or mother) to the fatherless (and motherless)? to be a lover of the loveless? to offer a home to the homeless?

i imagine; i imagine it would look a whole lot like Jesus.

[God-- who raises the dead]

"did you ever lament the demise of a dream? the death of a vision?

did it depart in explosive exit, followed by a funeral and observation? or did it quietly expire from neglect, slipping away unnoticed? have you forgotten that it ever lived? did you relegate it to that imagined abyss from which lost dreams can never return?

we enjoy a moment in america where we not only hear about pastors in some obscure corner of africa raising people from the dead. today, we hear more and more of the dead being raised in our own country—not just in places far away, where, we presume, they have more faith, but here, now. we are now even enjoined to raise the dead. raising the dead is part of the great commission: preach the gospel, make disciples, heal the sick, raise the dead! raising the dead is among the “greater works” that we are supposed to do. Jesus raised the dead; so, it follows, can we.

as testimony writer at bethel church, i organize the testimonies i receive by category on my hard drive so that i can find them more easily. i’ve just added a new category: resurrections. i relish receiving those testimonies from all over the country: the man who raised from death a fellow carpooler who had died suddenly on the way to work; the doctor who, rather than fulfilling her medical duty to pronounce someone dead, fulfilled her Christian duty to raise him from the dead; the worker who wouldn’t let the elderly man who had just died in the nursing home go until he was revived long enough to accept Jesus; the school of ministry students who, en route to their mission trip, pulled over to pray for a baby who had just died in an accident. under the eyes of a nurse who recognized the baby had died, the baby returned to life by the power of Jesus Christ, and the baby’s mother received new life as she gave her heart to Jesus. you have probably heard other stories as well. i know we will hear more.

yesterday, i was moved by the story of a dog kennel owner who refused to be robbed of a newborn puppy, crushed to death by its mother’s weight as she unknowingly lay on it. the woman commanded the puppy to live. he gasped for breath a few times, and he lives! what did they name him? lazarus, of course! she believes little lazarus is special and will be a blessing to whoever gets him. as i shared that story with a friend, she told me of a flower that had clearly died but that revived after she spoke life into it for several days. people. puppies. flowers. what else?

i’ll never forget the story of a man God used to start a revival. he was offered the job as pastor of a prosperous large church in a big city. but a small, dying church with a handful of members kept asking him to be their pastor. in his mind, there was no contest, but when the small church asked him to simply pray about it, he said, “Jesus, what would You do?” the Lord’s answer was, “i would raise the dead.” the man followed Jesus and took the dying church, and in that place, a huge revival broke out!

Jesus revealed Himself as the resurrection and the life! What works for dead people, works for dead puppies. and dead flowers. and dead churches. and dead dreams. what have you allowed to die in your life? what is it that you don’t even want to look at because you think it stinks, it’s been dead so long? Jesus isn’t bothered. Jesus would raise the dead.

a few months ago, I was grieving an area of death in my life. then God directed me to II corinthians 1:9 (nkjv): “yes, we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead.” that verse just resonated in me; it gave me hope. God raises the dead. how could i forget?

looking back, i have seen Him raise things from the dead in my life. one i thought long gone, i had buried, placed a tombstone on, grieved and sighed over. but God resurrected it—better than before. i don’t know if it had to die or if His touch in resurrecting it was what gave it new life. i do know that it was now something i could only do by His grace, and His kiss was upon it. things that were dead but now live again by His power are precious—like lazarus, the friend of Jesus. and like lazarus, the puppy.

i’m starting to view dead things as an opportunity for God to manifest His life. dead things are an invitation to resurrection.

whether the dead is our passion, our hope, our dream, a relationship, a business, a ministry, a calling, He can raise it up. we can get it back. He specializes in restoration, renewal, reconciliation, resurrection, revival.

reading the story about the woman contending for the little puppy, i feel certain God was so delighted that she would ask Him to restore her puppy to life. i know He wants me to go after things, too. i haven’t seen a person raised from the dead. i admit that’s still an area of awe for me. but maybe my little victories of seeing God raise other things in my life are my lion and bear that precede the bigger giants to come. i want to be someone who believes, knows and experiences that God raises the dead!"

[note: reprinted with permission; written by my good friend pam spinosi]

AutoImmunity

Hi anyone who still visits this blog in hopes that I will have one day found time to update and write again.

One of my closest friends is terribly ill with Auto-Immune Hepatitis and has Cirrhosis of the liver and was diagnosed at 21. She's 22 now and she sent me this email this morning, I felt that it is something everyone and anyone needs to read as it will serve as inspiration for all of us facing any form of adversity...

The life of a young lost girl yet a strong and capable woman. The plans are big. Overwhelming but I can take them on. My heart aches. Failure knocks. I go outside and kick it’s ass. However, like any pest problem, it comes back stronger, pounding on the door. Go away! I can and will overcome. I have to, I was created to. This cracked heart is fully capable of repair. However, my blood struggles. I know, you are thinking, “blood”?? What does blood have to do with anything? I will tell you. My every cell carries the memories of the pain. Each time I was hurt, emotional or physical, it is there. Einstein said there is no matter, it is all energy. That means there is no empty space and everything resonates. Yes I have been doing a lot of research lately and it is coming through in this blog and you have no idea what I am talking about. I really don’t care. They may want to control the world, control the population, kill off the weak. God is bigger than that though. They have no chance because my Lord is so much bigger than pain and death. I will explain.

Yes, my blood may have toxins. My liver may not work right. It causes headaches, joint aches, stomach pain, just to name a few! All health problems start in the colon. 80% of your immune system lives there and it acts as a second brain! Oh how I love science. I mean I really love it. Quantum physics and biology. Ok, that is off topic though. Vaccinations. Trash food. Jet streams. Chlorinated pools. Mercury fillings. Lead paint on the walls. Parasites. Man-made viruses. Just one of those would be enough reason for a ruined liver.

But I don’t believe that is all the reason. We are spirits that have a soul that live in a body. Everything begins in the spirit and is then manifested in the body. My blood carries the hurt, the pain, the self-hatred. How can I be so torn between knowing who I am in Christ, knowing how truly amazing and the potential that I have. It is all my fault though. Who am I to place the blame on others? I know I need to forgive them. Whatever, everything in me wants to blame them. Hey I can blame them and me at the same time right? That is it! It is a constant internal struggle. See, writing can help. Part of me knows who I am, who God created me to be, a co-creator with Him and yet part of me is living in the flesh, dwelling on the hardships life has. The struggle of knowing how to eat right and not being able to do it. This is me being quite vulnerable. It is hard to admit your problems. Will I ever find love. Not likely. Oh, stop, lie from the devil. See? Welcome to the world of inner-turmoil.

The blood carries the cells. The cells vibrate with different memories, memories that are attached to lies from the devil. When I think of these memories or feelings, I constantly try to replace them with what I know to be true. Biblical foundations and spiritual actualizations as the Holy Spirit whispers the truth in my ear. I must cleanse. I must trust God because, although I am capable, nobody can do it alone. Nobody should have to do it alone. Life is too hard. My King will be coming back soon and I want to be His beautiful bride. Shouldn’t we all help one another. That is all I want to do. Well that and sing love songs to my Jesus.

One good thing about all of this is that with every hurtful memory I have vowed to never treat another person the way I have been treated. I pray that God will give me the wisdom, sensitivity and strength to do this.

My goals are to first and most importantly cleanse my mind because all creation starts there. I create what I imagine. Then my hurts, pain, self-doubt and all the painful memories must go and be replaced with the truth from my Healer. Wow! Wouldn’t life suck without God! Then how easy it will be as my every cell is filled with His Spirit, covered by the blood of Jesus, then, yes then, I can do it. I can have divine health. I can help others. I want to help the world. I want to see them saved, healed, delivered. Nobody should have to live in turmoil. I believe it is natural for us to love ourselves because we are made in God’s image and He loves us more than anything so for one to hate themselves is to create a turmoil so deep that it causes the body to attack that hate. Even for those who don’t know God, it is still automatic for the Spirit that lives in us to attack the hate, the pain, the hurt within because our bodies are temples made for God to dwell in whether people know it or not. Made to love ourselves. This battle. This turmoil. This is autoimmunity.

I will overcome.