One of my closest friends is terribly ill with Auto-Immune Hepatitis and has Cirrhosis of the liver and was diagnosed at 21. She's 22 now and she sent me this email this morning, I felt that it is something everyone and anyone needs to read as it will serve as inspiration for all of us facing any form of adversity...
The life of a young lost girl yet a strong and capable woman. The plans are big. Overwhelming but I can take them on. My heart aches. Failure knocks. I go outside and kick it’s ass. However, like any pest problem, it comes back stronger, pounding on the door. Go away! I can and will overcome. I have to, I was created to. This cracked heart is fully capable of repair. However, my blood struggles. I know, you are thinking, “blood”?? What does blood have to do with anything? I will tell you. My every cell carries the memories of the pain. Each time I was hurt, emotional or physical, it is there. Einstein said there is no matter, it is all energy. That means there is no empty space and everything resonates. Yes I have been doing a lot of research lately and it is coming through in this blog and you have no idea what I am talking about. I really don’t care. They may want to control the world, control the population, kill off the weak. God is bigger than that though. They have no chance because my Lord is so much bigger than pain and death. I will explain.
Yes, my blood may have toxins. My liver may not work right. It causes headaches, joint aches, stomach pain, just to name a few! All health problems start in the colon. 80% of your immune system lives there and it acts as a second brain! Oh how I love science. I mean I really love it. Quantum physics and biology. Ok, that is off topic though. Vaccinations. Trash food. Jet streams. Chlorinated pools. Mercury fillings. Lead paint on the walls. Parasites. Man-made viruses. Just one of those would be enough reason for a ruined liver.
But I don’t believe that is all the reason. We are spirits that have a soul that live in a body. Everything begins in the spirit and is then manifested in the body. My blood carries the hurt, the pain, the self-hatred. How can I be so torn between knowing who I am in Christ, knowing how truly amazing and the potential that I have. It is all my fault though. Who am I to place the blame on others? I know I need to forgive them. Whatever, everything in me wants to blame them. Hey I can blame them and me at the same time right? That is it! It is a constant internal struggle. See, writing can help. Part of me knows who I am, who God created me to be, a co-creator with Him and yet part of me is living in the flesh, dwelling on the hardships life has. The struggle of knowing how to eat right and not being able to do it. This is me being quite vulnerable. It is hard to admit your problems. Will I ever find love. Not likely. Oh, stop, lie from the devil. See? Welcome to the world of inner-turmoil.
The blood carries the cells. The cells vibrate with different memories, memories that are attached to lies from the devil. When I think of these memories or feelings, I constantly try to replace them with what I know to be true. Biblical foundations and spiritual actualizations as the Holy Spirit whispers the truth in my ear. I must cleanse. I must trust God because, although I am capable, nobody can do it alone. Nobody should have to do it alone. Life is too hard. My King will be coming back soon and I want to be His beautiful bride. Shouldn’t we all help one another. That is all I want to do. Well that and sing love songs to my Jesus.
One good thing about all of this is that with every hurtful memory I have vowed to never treat another person the way I have been treated. I pray that God will give me the wisdom, sensitivity and strength to do this.
My goals are to first and most importantly cleanse my mind because all creation starts there. I create what I imagine. Then my hurts, pain, self-doubt and all the painful memories must go and be replaced with the truth from my Healer. Wow! Wouldn’t life suck without God! Then how easy it will be as my every cell is filled with His Spirit, covered by the blood of Jesus, then, yes then, I can do it. I can have divine health. I can help others. I want to help the world. I want to see them saved, healed, delivered. Nobody should have to live in turmoil. I believe it is natural for us to love ourselves because we are made in God’s image and He loves us more than anything so for one to hate themselves is to create a turmoil so deep that it causes the body to attack that hate. Even for those who don’t know God, it is still automatic for the Spirit that lives in us to attack the hate, the pain, the hurt within because our bodies are temples made for God to dwell in whether people know it or not. Made to love ourselves. This battle. This turmoil. This is autoimmunity.
I will overcome.
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